I feel like this is completely lost in California. Is this an issue in every part of the country??
Yes, there are many women in southern California looking for a sugar daddy, and that is ok, if you are honest with your intentions. This area is saturated with beautiful women, and plenty of wealthy men that pay the price to have one on their arm.
Has this screwed us normal girls? Plus size girls? Why can't a plus size girl be considered a trophy wife in this delusional culture anyway??
I have talked to a lot of men, I mean A LOT of men. Some assume you need someone to take care of you, some think dates should be 50/50 from the start, and some are down right so broke they are worried about a cover charge at a bar. These are men thirty and older.
It's pathetic.
Of course when I talk to a generation ahead of me , like my aunt, a woman making six figures who knows every detail of etiquette, she agrees with me.
No a man has never paid my bills, or for any part of my personal needs, or lavished me with any gifts. I have a job, and have my entire life been very independent. I have a car, gas money, and don't live at home, thanks.
I do think a man should at least pay for the first few dates in the beginning of dating, If we met online, yes I will meet you half way, but you should be able to buy me a coffee or a drink, If you want to meet me, and you are worried about a cover charge then you surely cant buy dinner or drinks at any point.
If you are that broke/cheap its not going to work anyway, because how in the hell do you expect to afford marriage or children.
I am seeking someone ambitious, not living pay check to pay check. You set the standard from the beginning.
As my aunt says, I am letting you inside my body, I can have your child, if you are sleeping with me or planning on it, yes you need to get the tab.
I am a very generous person, I will buy gifts, dates, drinks, ect once I know a man isn't a typical douche bag. I am always very straight forward in what I am looking for in someone.
It is OK to be feminine, it is OK for a man to court you. Just because you are plus size or not a beauty queen, DO NOT ever settle!!!! Stay true to what you believe in and what you know you deserve. You don't have to settle for broke, unattractive, addictions, unambitious, just because you aren't societies trophy wife.
I would rather be alone than settle, because at some point, even if years later the unhappiness and resentment will surface.
Shame on you who say i'll be alone or am being judgmental, because I have standards. Maybe those people should consider theirs.
Seeing as I never really had to deal with the "dating" world I don't have much advice to offer. I think you are on the right track though - - don't settle. You deserve to be with someone that is amazing!! And I really love the quote about sons!! :)
ReplyDeleteI could not agree with you more!!! I have lived in southern CA for about 4 years now, and the choice of men here is despicable. Most of them do not treat you properly unless you are skinny.
ReplyDeleteLets change that stereotype by rejecting all the losers that we give the time of day to!!
Yay two confident girls come forward and understand my point of view!!!
DeleteBriana, believe me you are so lucky, dating is a nightmare. I feel like I am going to be a serial dater forever!!! Anything you want done right typically take time and a lot of effort however.
Jude, are you from another state?
I feel like it would be a little better in some other states. Even at work, when I speak to people from Texas on the phone they say "yes mam, thank you mam". NEVER happens with California customers.
I think its really sad more women don't believe in themselves enough to seek out what they truly want and deserve. I have a lot of compassion and would make every female on this earth confident if i could.
Age, insecurities, loneliness, there are so many contributing factors to settling now a days.
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Nicole - I have lived in 4 states and in three very different areas of California (Tahoe, Bay Area and Orange County). And Orange County is very very different then anywhere else I have lived. The men here are lazy, cheap and uneducated. This however could be a reflection of the type of men that I attract, or men that give attention to a plus size woman in Orange County. Obviously I have thought too long and too hard about this, but I feel that every woman (around the world) should have higher standards for men so no woman has to settle. Thank you so much for this post :)
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