Monday, April 9, 2012

I have some dreams..

This is a comment I just posted on my friends blog. I liked her post, and couldn't agree more.

I dream of initiating a true movement. One where women of all shapes, sizes, styles, and back grounds TRULY support and motivate each other. A world, where women could trust each other, rely and RESPECT one another. Kind of like the friendship the girls have on Sex in the City.

However even if you aren't friends,because we don't all mesh, stop hating on one another, stop being bullies, beating people up, dropping friends for men. Truly learn to love yourself. A world where women really encourage and seek self respect. A world in which big girls do NOT have to settle, for men, marriages, jobs, friends, hobbies, ect.
A world that can see a thick girl as a "trophy wife" and not just a blonde size 2.

This is what I dream of, and hope to accomplish, even in the smallest form.

I have also been bullied, to the extreme my entire life. I can honestly say its gotten out of hand in the last few years. Its like the more I start to love and accept who I am, the more other people hate me. It doesn't matter what I do. Insecure girls (which sadly is a majority) absolutely cannot stand that i can actually be real, and myself, and still love myself.

I have really bad days, Saturday night was one of them. I felt so discouraged and depressed about my appearance, after I got up in front of people and danced all night. Ridiculous.
I hate how other people get to me, and that I am so sensitive. Its me though, and I have to learn to accept it.

I've experienced the meanest girls, and lamest men in an environment that is supposed to be "size accepting". It's sad, I wish all those women empowered each other, instead of being mean and competitive Imagine the things that could be accomplished?

This is a long rant, my apologies. Samantha with age you will truly become the woman you were intended, you will love yourself more, and with that there will be more haters. So stay strong and have a good therapist.


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Monday, April 2, 2012

What happened to chivalry?

Someone please, tell me!
I feel like this is completely lost in California. Is this an issue in every part of the country??
Yes, there are many women in southern California looking for a sugar daddy, and that is ok, if you are honest with your intentions. This area is saturated with beautiful women, and plenty of wealthy men that pay the price to have one on their arm.
Has this screwed us normal girls? Plus size girls? Why can't a  plus size girl be considered a trophy wife in this delusional culture anyway??

I have talked to a lot of men, I mean  A LOT of men. Some assume you need someone to take care of you, some think dates should be 50/50 from the start, and some are down right so broke they are worried about a cover charge at a bar. These are men thirty and older.
It's pathetic.

Of  course when I talk to a generation ahead of me , like my aunt, a woman making six figures who knows every detail of etiquette, she agrees with me.

No a man has never paid my bills, or for any part of my personal needs, or lavished me with any gifts. I have a job, and have my entire life been very independent. I have a car, gas money, and don't live at home, thanks.
I do think a man should at least pay for the first few dates in the beginning of dating, If we met online, yes  I will meet you half way, but you should be able to buy me a coffee or a drink, If you want to meet me, and you are worried about a cover charge then you surely cant buy dinner or drinks at any point.
If you are that broke/cheap its not going to work anyway, because how in the hell do you expect to afford marriage or children.
I am seeking someone ambitious, not living pay check to pay check. You set the standard from the beginning.
As my aunt says, I am letting you inside my body, I can have your child, if you are sleeping with me or planning on it, yes you need to get the tab.

I  am a very generous person, I will buy gifts, dates, drinks, ect once I know a man isn't a typical douche bag. I am always very straight forward in what I am looking for in someone.
It is OK to be feminine, it is OK for a man to court you. Just because you are plus size or not a beauty queen, DO NOT ever settle!!!! Stay true to what you believe in and what you know you deserve. You don't have to settle for broke, unattractive, addictions, unambitious, just because you aren't societies trophy wife.
I would rather be alone than settle, because at some point, even if years later the unhappiness and resentment will surface.
 Shame on you who say i'll be alone or am being judgmental, because I have standards. Maybe those people should consider theirs.