Monday, August 20, 2012

Party Idea-Retro Cowgirl

I have this current obsession with having a retro cowgirl themed party.
It seriously will not get out of my damn head.
If I was having a birthday party, this would be it. Although I am the queen of themed parties, its hard to get others to dress up.
I just think the attire, and party decor would be fabulous.

My vision is an outdoor party including the following:
Hay for sitting
Gingham table clothes
Old school country music
BBQ food, including watermelon triangles and corn on the cob
Galvanized buckets for drinks
Root bear bottles
Red bandannas
Those old school stick ponies
Mason jars, probably on the tables with candles
twirling, if i knew how

I want it to feel like you are at a vintage western party, not too juvenile. IF I move to Texas, and throw myself a party, ill do this for sure.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Dear California,

I doubt our relationship is going to last very long.
Yes, I was born and raised here, and pretty much lived all over southern California. However I am just an old soul, and you and I are like oil and water.
I've never felt like I belong in this state, I am far from a beach girl, I grew up in poverty, too fat to be popular, and too friendly to be here.
Even to this day, if I walk into a bar in the Newport/Mesa area, everyone stares at me. Like I am something they've never seen. I only go out when I am done up, so one night i really couldn't figure out why? I looked around and realized I was the only girl with black hair, much less being thick and having a dark lip.
Don't even try making friendly conversation with someone you don't know. They'll either think you are hitting on them, or just crazy.

Also I do not smoke, anything!!!! I am blue in the face with everyone's obsession with marijuana here. God created better things.

I will never afford a home here, and I am clearly not what a rich man wants in this state, so I have to think about my own future. I make decent money, and it somehow evaporates. The taxes for a single person are insane. I am so sick of living in random rooms, ghettos, and places. I want to work and afford a decent apartment, that is clean and safe. I think I deserve this.

Years ago when I first went to Boston, I fell in love. I knew California wasn't for me. If I could afford B-town, id be there. I've been to Boston 3 times, NYC once, and Washington.

I am so over the demanding people here, they speak to you like you owe them something and as of yesterday at that. Since I work on the phone all day, some of these people just make me sick. The only time I've heard a "yes mam/thank you mam" is on a Texas call. Imagine that.
I've never been to Texas, and  I am at a point where I don't even care.
If I had a choice, I would move to Austin. In order to transfer my job, I have to go to Irving, Texas. It is outside of Dallas. There are tons of job, and nice affordable housing. Its very hard to find a job from another state, unless you have some special skills.

Leaving my Grandparents was something I could never even imagine. Since losing my Grandma, I feel more alone than ever. I need some major life changes to occur to get my joy back. I heard her voice when she died, just saying "go Nicole, go, you are free now"...
I don't know anyone, and I will miss my Grandpa deeply, but something has got to give.

My current plan is to see what it takes to transfer, and if i can, and go from there.