Friday, August 7, 2015

My journey back West

I have been dying to move back to California, since the day i step foot in Texas. It just didn't happen the way I imagine it.
I am very excited to get home and see my friends, do not get me wrong, but I am overwhelmed with melancholy as well. 
I liked Waco, I was finally getting into a good place mentally. I had a plan to work toward my goals. My placement test was Thursday, I did my fasfa, I got really good news on a dismissal, and I was doing good. I had appointments for some specialist to work on my fibro. Now I feel back to square one.
I was a victim of domestic violence, and had to get in my car and just grab a few things and the dogs. I had to leave a lot of sentimental items, a storage, and I am feeling really sad. I can feel the depression just flowing through my body uncontrollably. I feel like I need a sponsor, someone I can speak to thats suffered from severe depression and anxiety. 
I can just pray to God that he will take care of me, Jeremiah 29:11 says he has a plan for me to prosper and i believe that, I just need cheerleaders by my side....

I am afraid, where will i live, where will i get income..ect... not to mention for my court case against xyz, ill have to fly back 3 times.

I feel lost, but so special that so many friends love me, and got me back across the country. NONE of my " family" stepped up to help, not even a dime. how sad is that? I have always been so generous, but what goes around comes around. I will not focus on that, I am focusing on all those that love me for me.
 I am so hard of myself. Old friends always told me the bad person I was, so to see people step up out of love, makes me feel so good. Its such a blessing from God. 

My teeth are loose, they hurt and I love my smile to it makes me so sad.

Good friends right now mean more than anything....